Saturday I’m (finally) going on a trip and while I’m enthusiastic about everything, I have some friends who are still feeling on edge every time they are are flying from A to B. Although it has been statistically proven that there are less chances of something going wrong on a plane than on a train, the media are more likely to cover a plane crash, which is probably why people are more afraid of planes than the old choo choo. So in this second part of the mini-series, I made a list of all the real things that can go wrong when you are on a plane.

13. Night flight

Okay, this may not be so bad, but one of the things I like the most about flying is to sit by the window and admire the view, even if I only see some clouds. But when you’re flying overnight, often there’s literally nothing you can see. On the plus side, if you don’t like flying, you can sleep the whole flight and the fact that it’s night might make it easier to fall asleep. One time, when I was leaving from Valencia, the flight was delayed and by the time I got on the plane, I was so sleepy that I fell asleep before departure and woke up when they announced they were preparing for landing. 😆

12. People talking loudly when you’re trying to sleep

What’s worst than a night flight is people talking loudly, making it more difficult for you to fall asleep. It’s even more annoying if they are in front of or behind you. Have those people slept all day? Instead of sightseeing?! Why are they so chatty, WHY?!

 11. People with larger cabin baggage than allowed

This is actually funny to watch IF you’re in your seat already, but when you’re stuck behind someone on the aisle who is trying to make their whole life fit into the compartment above their heads and then arguing with the flight attendant about it…..ugh.

10. No more food

This has happened to me on an early morning flight to London. I was having the window seat on the last row and for some reason, they only started serving food from the front. I hadn’t eaten anything so I couldn’t wait to eat one of their overpriced sandwiches. When they got to me, they were all out. I just wanted a goddamn sandwich! Had to settle for a small croissant and hope I’d get off the plane faster.

9. Crying baby during the whole flight

Look, I love babies just like the next guy, I find them adorable. But when you’re stuck in a metal box up in the sky, three hours in front of a screaming baby may seem way way longer. Especially if all the parents can do is to tell him to shut up. I mean, have they tried one of those mini bottles of vodka? I know what you’re thinking…..I’m great with children!

8. Smelly people

Pretty self explanatory, don’t you think? If this kind of people annoys you on a bus where you can get off at any stop and wait for the next one, imagine how awful it is to be stuck near them with no way out.

7. Having to use the bathroom

I wasn’t until my 10th flight that I have used the bathroom in a plane and when I did, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Nevermind the fact that I could barely move, my mind was all like HOW DO I FLUSH, WHAT DO I DO, WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

6. Having to use the bathroom A LOT AND you have the window seat

Unfortunately, the first time I used the bathroom on a plane was for a good reason, and the flight had become incredibly awkward for me. “Excuse me,” I kept saying a few times to make my way to the one place in the plane that’s even smaller than the legroom.

5. People trying to chitchat with you

Headphones in, outside world out. No, I don’t want to hear where you’re going, why you’re going and what you will do, I’d rather stare at the wing of the plane, it’s much more interesting.

 4. People getting up as soon as the plane lands

This one I’ll never understand! People are rushing to get their bags as if someone could steal them and run away. They’re also standing on the aisle, to be the first ones to get off. It’s cool if you have a connection to catch (and incredibly shitty if you don’t let the people who have another flight go first), but otherwise it’s pointless and plain stupid.

Bonus points: people getting up when it was requested to remain seated. Or people whose phones start ringing while the plane is still in the air, towards the airport.

3. Seat allocation

I have just made an online check in and out of all the six tickets, there aren’t two right next to each other. I get how low cost companies are trying to make money out of anything, but come on, can’t I just sit next to my friends, instead of some chatty smelly person? (see previous points)

2. Air conditioning

After freezing my ass off in so many planes, I have come to the conclusion that there are only two possible explanations for this:

• They are secretly transporting aliens from Neptune, who need to have temperatures as close as the one on their home planet.
• Somehow somewhere someone cracked open a window.

1. Kickers and pullers

I know dude, I KNOW! You don’t have much space for your legs and after an hour, it starts to get worse and worse. But guess what, I have as little space as you do. But you won’t find me kicking the seat in front of me, like a spoiled kid at Disneyland. Another pet peeve of mine is when someone pulls your seat to help themselves get up, making you feel as if you’re being skyrocketed into space. Horrible, just horrible!

But then you land, get off the plane and everything is perfect! Now the real fun begins!

I won’t be posting next week but feel free to join me on Facebook and Twitter where I’ll be posting pictures and impressions from the streets of Paris and Oslo.

Note: I do not own any of these gifs. If you are the owner and don’t want your gif here, send me an e-mail (see Contact page)